Dear Self: A love letter from my soul

Dear Self,

I'm lucky to have found you after all of these years and I'm proud that you have not let the world harden you. I am not here to fix you. I am here to understand you. I will hold your hand through the challenges we face together and I will comfort you in all moments. I will fill all of your cracks, your holes.

I need you to know that you are capable, and willing, to fill your own, without looking to others, or alcohol, or sex, or food, or drugs. From this place of caring deeply for you, and being brave to face the storms in the future with presence and strength, we will come together and care deeply for each other.

Let's agree that our relationship is a non-judgment zone. You are free to be completely, 100% you. All of the burping, slightly odd remarks, hogging the spotlight, overly generous, wickedly clever, crazy affectionate, million other wonderful things that you are - be all of it.

Don't ever hold back, even a bit, even when you think it will hurt others feelings, even when you think you will get judged, even if you think it comes off too bold -- because if we do this together, all of those things will happen. I've committed to show up unashamed. I've committed to be real with you. I have laid my masks down for the rest of my life. I will honor your deep, inner truths.

We cannot get wrapped up in the fear that the people we care about us will not care about us in return. I am tired from doing that. We have each other. I know we need others but we can rely on each other, too.

Some days you will be cranky. Pimply. Scarred. Stand off-ish. You will make mistakes. You will eat an entire bag of potato chips and won't touch dirty dishes for days. Mental illness will dim your light. Thoughtless, hurtful words will be said. We'll just pause.

And breathe.

We'll address the issues, the resistance, the pain - without judgement. Without criticisms. We'll talk it out.

Meredith, please talk to me. Be unapologetically open. Let's be on the same side. Ours.

I want you to feel amazed by my love for you, by your love for me. By our love for one another, for life, for sunshine, for growth, for adventure, for patience. I don't want to ever take you for granted - if I do, I want you to gently remind me that I am being selfish and negotiating our terms for self-care. I want to feel you every day, at least once, and wonder at how this perfectly imperfect life came to be. And that I got to experience it through you. Through us.

I want you to think I am beautifully flawed and hopelessly whimsical. I want you to own your femininity, but know that I will "hang" and genuinely enjoy your masculine energy.

But I am not here to fix you. I couldn't. I can't. I shouldn't. You are not broken. We are whole together.

I am here to love you.

Always. Through anything.

Love,

My Soul